Coping with no sleep

When you have a baby you expect some sleepless nights. After all,  you have to tend to their every need. As they get older, you sleep longer because they are kind enough to catch on to the idea that sleep is good. Some kids with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) just don't sleep. I have one of them.

Little E hasn't been sleeping through the night for the past year. His first year was rough then he seemed to adjust year two. He could stay asleep but had difficulty getting to sleep initially. Now at three, he falls asleep fast; he just doesn't seem to be able to stay asleep. Getting him to sleep is the easy part now because he no longer takes naps so he is exhausted. He just can't seem to stay asleep even though we give him Melatonin. We tried a weighted blanket but he doesn't seem to like it. We do the brushing, that doesn't seem to help much either though he allows me to do it more often now.  I have given massages, scalp rubs, joint compression, impact sensory play and what ever ideas we come across. He keeps waking up. Often around the same time, 1 am and awake until about 4 am, unless he winds up not going to sleep at all. Tonight I swaddled him because I heard that sometimes doing this can help kids with A.S.D. sleep. I am hopeful that this will work like it did when he was an infant but only time will tell.

I am sure E isn't making any real decision here regarding his lack of sleep. He has absolutely zero control here. He seems so tired but still very awake. I use the word loopy to describe him. He wants to be comforted and calmed but physically can seem to be battling his mind and body. He knows when it's time to sleep. At times, he will tell me "mommy, tired."  Our kids almost always go to sleep at the same time between 6:30 -7 pm. When he wakes up at night, I often can get him back to sleep but he doesn't stay asleep, he will keep waking. Sometimes these attempts to get him to lay back down or calm down can take hours. He only likes to sleep on the floor. VERY hard on my back. We do it because we want to give him what he needs but I worry we are ruining his sleep process and creating bad habits.

The worst part of his not getting sleep is that during the day E is so hard to deal with. He's cranky, indecisive, super moody, self injurious, aggressive and often has trouble focusing by the afternoon. He becomes impossible to deal with.  His behavior is out of control and it is so hard to remain calm at times. Let's not even get into how we the parents are doing with our lack of sleep. It is clearly not an easy situation to deal with. I want to help him. I just don't have all the information to do so and that for me is frustrating.

Coping with no sleep isn't a solution, so I try to do what I do best. Research, learn, and implement. Finding answers any way we can.

Articles and links:

Sleep Problems in Autism Explained

Put Sleep Difficulties to Bed: Advice for Parents with Children with Autism

The relationship between sleep and behavior in autism spectrum disorder (ASD): a review

Just a few helpful articles that led me down the rabbit whole. Theses articles provided me with some new information to go to my sons medical providers raising new questions and seeking more answers. I share them in hopes they can do the same for anyone actually reading this.

Should you have any suggestions for us to try and implement, please share with us what you have tried and how it worked out for you.


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With Love and dedication, anything is possible!

When the spinning gets out of control

I like to think I'm a good mom, at least I try. This week however,  I would have to say I am mediocre at best. The boys can get bored of the Sensory Diets in place so every now and then it needs tweaking. The boys have just been spinning out of control. Some days, they are literally spinning out of control, like spin tops, circling and bouncing off of walls and furniture until they fall.  I know this meant they were in need of some new sensory play but honestly, I've been so tired.  I get run down trying to keep up with it so I know I can't blame them. So what do I do for my reality check?

Most importantly, I ground myself. Just like my kids, sometimes I can feel like things are spinning out of control. Kids screaming, jumping, climbing or fighting will do that to you.  Unlike them, my spinning is only in the figurative sense. The best way I ground myself is to breathe. Allow myself to listen and feel each breath. That is honestly the best thing I can do. Once that is completed, I take a good luck at the boys and remind myself the kind of mom they need. Key word, NEED. Parenthood is a stressful job, put a child with special needs into that equation and it's doubly hard. Reminding myself that they need me helps me mentally realign.

Once I am in check, I start making the calls to the Occupational Therapists to get feedback and ideas for the kids. Now I know they haven't been getting enough sensory play but I also know they get bored of doing the same things so I am always looking or asking for new suggestions.  I could beat myself up on how I fail them by not always bringing my A game but what would be the point. They don't need a mom who wallows. They need a mom who gets it done.

Here are the latest suggestions for the boys sensory diets to help calm them down a bit and allow them to feel more grounded.Couldn't we all just be more grounded?

Proprioceptive Activities

When they receive enough sensory play, they are great listeners, attentive and super calm. Getting new suggestions benefits us all as a family.  I do whatever it takes to ensure that all three of my children grow up in a home that is loving and attentive to their needs but sometimes you just need a minute for yourself. It's a struggle and I may take a mental hiatus sometimes of what I need to do but it doesn't last. It can't, my kids need me to much.

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