A question about Autism

My daughter came up to me today and asked me a question. I was kind of taken off guard when she asked me this question and honestly at the moment, I didn't know how to respond to her. I didn't imagine that at four years old she would be asking me this already. I thought maybe I had at least two years before we dove into this. She asked me "Mama, why does Ethan always have to have the autism?"

We have had her watch Sesame Street's introduction of the new character Julia,  that has Autism. So she does know that E and N have Autism. She seemed to understand it, asked some questions and she seemed content with my answers. So it seems now, she has more.  I took a deep breath, took a moment to think about my answer and came up with this.

"Well, you see Pudding Bear (nickname), that's just the way God made him. It's not a bad thing, it's just the way he is."

She then told me "but I want him to be just like me." Hearing this kind of made me sad. Sure things would be easier if E didn't have Autism but I wouldn't trade him for anything. To me, he is perfect.

Then I told her this, "Just because someone isn't like you, doesn't make it a bad thing. Being different is what makes us all special in our own ways. Why don't we treat E like he doesn't have Autism. Treat him like you would want any one else to treat you. When you see he's having a tough day and a hard time, show him kindness, care, patience and love. That's all anyone really needs baby." I watched her as she thought about my answer.

She sat there quietly for about a minute, which is a lot for her, shrugged her shoulders and said "okay mama."

Then she walked over to her brother, patted him gently on the head and asked him if he would like her to put a movie on for him. She gave him a kiss on the head, walked away to get the remote and called me over to put his show on. It was a precious moment.

I can't say I handled this expertly and maybe some of my answer didn't compute with her but I am happy with the results. She showed care and compassion to her brother. They don't always get along, most siblings have their days where they just don't get along and parents become referees. With E's temperament, it happens more often then not.  Which is why I think my daughter posed her question, out of exasperation. That said, they have really good days too. Where they tackle one another in hugs and cuddles. Those moments much like how this discussion with my daughter ended are awesome.

We are blessed for sure.

With Love and dedication, anything is possible!