Fight to be heard!

There is nothing more frustrating in my experience then when you are telling someone what would work best for your child and they don't listen. The experts think that they know best and you are left struggling to follow along or fight to be heard.

This was happening with my son, E. He recently moved to a new school because I felt he wasn't being treated correctly at the prior school. That they kept stuffing him into a room and not taking the time to hear him. They simply muffled his voice when all he wanted was for someone to hear him and talk to him. Whatever attempts the teacher and administration made only seemed to make things worse. Suddenly he wasn't trusting people, responding as if he was going to be grabbed or hit if you approached him to abruptly. I was angry and motivated to help him.

Every day we received either a phone call or a message about his unwanted, negative behavior. Though I welcome communication from the teacher and the school whether it be positive or negative, it was almost always, negative. I could handle the negative if there was an attempt at a solution but by the end, I saw nothing. I just wish they were making the effort to hear him out.

At the new school, he is making amazing strides and catching up to where he needed to be quite quickly. Honestly, we knew he had it in him and were so frustrated with the system, that we nearly gave up on the system and took him out of public school. It wasn’t only because I went and spoke to the district that we now see change...change came because those at district level are truly impassioned by the children they serve. The new teacher has taken it upon herself to really pay attention to E. Taking the time to figure out how he thinks as an individual. She often tells me about the funny things he has said throughout the day or about the things that upset him. The principal is always engaged with his class and is learning how each child in that classroom functions. Despite some difficult days, he is transitioning superbly and is happy to go to school.

All of this is happening because someone took the time to listen. People are taking a moment to listen to my son and not force him to do something he doesn’t understand. This willingness and patience to talk it through or just listen, is what is helping the most. Finding the right people that care enough to help us was key, the district did that for us and for that I am forever grateful.

Now he is showing all his potential. For Down Syndrome day he introduced his little classmate and then closed the presentation. He said to me that he was going to say a speech for his friend Ari. It melted my heart that he said "his friend" and that he was so motivated to celebrate her. This is all thanks to the school. They gave him a place where he can be himself. That feeling of acceptance is helping him have the confidence he needed to start on a path of doing great things.

He still has his days, but no where near as bad as the last school. Parents, don't forget how important it is to be the voice for your child(ren) especially for those that are unable to verbally express their feelings. Whenever possible teach them that their feelings, needs and thoughts matter. That being  shoved into a room and closing the door behind them isn’t solving a problem, it is only masking it. Don’t be scared to voice your opinions or to stand up for your child. Advocacy should always start at home.

We are blessed for sure.

With love and dedication anything is possible!