Ask and you shall receive

Remember how a couple of posts back I was joking about needing to get away. Well, ask and you shall receive. My husband surprised me with an impromptu vacation. It’s really more like a trip because of the time constraints and because a vacation for me would be without the kids. 

Traveling with the kids is rough. First they never stop asking the famous “Are we there yet?” They NEVER go to the bathroom at the same time, and one wants the radio on while the other wants it off. It’s too cold, It’s too hot. I think you get it. My daughter loves to sing in a high pitch operatic voice that reminds me of the movie where Meryl Streep portrays a woman described as the worst opera singer of all time. Now, don’t get me wrong, when my daughter sings in her normal sweet voice, she sounds like an angel. Lately, I think she has been exploring pitch and she is way high, to the point of piercing. As I write this, she is testing out her sounds. Fun! Do we discourage this? No. I want her to sing even if she sometimes hits a sour note or two. It’s my reminder that she is happy and that my ears are functioning. 

Finally, we made it to Myrtle Beach but still had another 30 minutes to get our hotel. So we took the kids to to a great little park called Savannah’s Playground to burn off some energy. It had your typical playground equipment but other cool stuff. Most importantly it had a six foot fence around it. It’s probably one of the first parks I ever felt comfortable going to. It had some really cool slides and a zip line for the kids. The kids loved it. E was in his element. The park is known as a great sensory park for special needs kids but is open for all. And then...

We went to the hotel where E went nuts. The kids were already excited about being at the beach and that the hotel had its own water park. E was over-the-top. His enthusiasm could not be contained. He was opening and slamming draws and cabinet doors. Screaming with joy because the hotel room had it’s own spoons and toaster. So as we changed clothes for the water park, I began to realize that this could potentially go south fast but I wanted to be optimistic and have fun. My goal was to be calm mom and not get anxious. We were fine up until we walked on to the water park grounds. The minute he saw the giant slide his eyes opened wide as did mine but for very different reasons. He was thinking that thing is going to be amazing. My thoughts were more along the lines of this 20 foot slide is going to be the cause of my aneurysm. I chased up the later with him and tried to seem excited. When we reached the top I was still hopeful that the man would tell us your too short. Took the measurements and I wasn’t so lucky. E sits on the slide and pushes himself. Sitting up instead of laying flat on his back, he takes the first curve and nearly flips out of the tube. Then he is flipped backwards and I saw a glimmer of panic in his eye but he hits another turn, where he flips again and it turns him around, then splash. He loves it! Meanwhile I am a horrible anxious mess thinking that I could have lost him on that first curve. He didn’t care, he wanted to do it again.

So needless to say I am extremely stressed out at this point. I figure if we could just get him in the pool and keep him there, I might be able to salvage this trip. N keeps swimming over to me to check on me because he “Don’t like how your face looks right now Mama. I’m worried for you.” I try to reassure him, but I know he is right. Because what I was feeling was straight anxiety over lack of control. Truthfully, it was my lack of control over E. I could see the park was having its affects on him. When my husband held his hand to get his attention and remind him of the rules. His legs looked like they want to leave his body and walk away with out him. He was on sensory overload. I knew I needed to get him in a quiet place but he was also trying to have his best version of fun. It just involved him running in and out of pool or at some points, jumping into shallow pools including a jacuzzi. I was so done. I wanted to scream DONE and leave. Not an option, I still had the other two who were having fun. So I stuck with it with the hopes that eventually he would even out and he did.

We finally got to a place where we were all in the same place and wanted to stay there. From there I started to feel my chest relax and i was able to take control of my breathes again. Though the start was challenging, it ended on a high note. Not to say that anxiety isn't the captain of my ship, it is still in control. While he sleeps all I can think about is how to keep him from the balcony or oven, I might then be able to go to sleep.

Still a day and a half to go, so lets see what tomorrow brings. For now, we are all curled up, and i’m Doing my best to appreciate the good parts of the day.

We are blessed for sure.

With love and dedication anything is possible!