Happy New Year to ALL! 2020 was a rough year. Okay, 2020 was toss it in the dumpster and burn it year. Clearly, many of us were happy to say goodbye to it with hopes for a better year. On New Years Eve night, I had this entire post written out about how far each of us has come in the past year. However, just before it was to post at midnight, I stopped it. I didn’t think it took into account how grateful I was despite the craziness of the year, so I took it down. I didn’t want to be fake with you or negative in any way. Then it seemed like the world went a bit sideways, so it has taken me a bit to rewrite my post. What I really want to share with you are all the positives we experienced in 2020, despite all the hardship the world has endured this year.
The challenges of virtual schooling three kids has definitely been a test of my patience and skill. I can still honestly say that I know I don't want to be a teacher anytime soon. Maybe it is because they are my own kids but I am just not that sure that it is for me. Teachers have a hard job. Add a pandemic to it and I am amazed they walk into the school building each morning knowing how little they are appreciated. Be kind to your teachers!
Over the summer, we made the decision to virtual school our kids. It was based on my health and that of my parents but also our wanting to protect them from this. What I see as the blessing of virtual school, is that I have had unlimited time to really see how my kids learn, function, socialize and think during school.
I have been able to see my kids grow and gain confidence in their work but also in themselves. I have seen them go from minimal skills to mastering them. I have seen them be kind and sadly, I have even seen them disappointed from failures or rejection. Yet even with those disappointments, we were able to have immediate discussions to help them work through it. Something I know wasn’t always happening at school. In seeing these weak points, I have been able to work with them to help make them into strengths. We may not be at mastery level but the fact that I can see and work on them is what counts. Especially those skill that school districts don’t see relevant when you have a child excelling.
Socialization has been by far the biggest and most difficult challenge. I had to remind them how lucky we were that they weren’t an only child left with no one to hang with at home. We tried helping “N” build friendships but his inability to recall peoples names easily presents challenges. The fact that he isn’t playing games like Halo or Fortnite, didn’t make it any easier to relate. It’s really hard because he so desperately wants to connect. His awesome teacher set up a lunch hour with like minded kids that were also struggling and that has helped a great deal. He may not always remember their names but he enjoys the days he sits with them.
Since all they have are each other most day, I have been able to see my kids become friends. They aren't just siblings now, they share a stronger connection, a bond of friendship. In 2019, there was so much fighting and I was starting to assume that this was normal. Which in my house “normal’ can be tricky to gauge. Having this time has allowed me to really focus on how they speak to one another, listen to each other and play together. It isn't always perfect but I am no longer pulling them apart or screaming to get them to stop what seemed like every 10 seconds. That alone is a blessing.
Being home has helped reduce the anxiety which once was off the charts in our house affecting one person or another. I use to always be worried about “N” and how when he went to school he would tear off his nails because he was so restricted from movement and stressed. I can’t say enough about what staying home has done for him. He really has started to mature and be his own advocate. I am glad that I get to be witness to this. He has taken to meditation and listens to his body more, allowing himself to seek out needed sensory relief and is starting to learn how to manage those internal demands.
The twins both have really done well with virtual too. They have learned a lot. EMC has managed to learn how to be self sufficient and it has really boosted her confidence. She feels like a little teacher herself. She misses her friends but has adapted well to Zooming with her friends and always looks forward to making new ones.EEC took a few months to adapt to teachers but is doing well so long as his schedule doesn't get interrupted. He to finally starting to show us that he is more then capable of learning to read and has more then a handful of words memorized. It's huge!
I pray that this illness gets under control and that people can really start seeing others through compassionate eyes, as fellow inhabitants, peers on this wonderful planet. Let’s take care of one another. After all, we get but one life.
We are blessed for sure!
